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  Liddy went over to the shadows where she barely made out her brother’s form. ‘You are supposed to be at home with Fa.’

  Malcolm twisted his cap. ‘Fa gave me permission. Someone had to let you know. I’m working on it. I thought I had the solution today, but you won’t have to remain under the Northman’s control for much longer.’

  A prickle went down Liddy’s back. Over the years she had had enough experience of Malcolm’s schemes to know that they had a habit of going disastrously wrong. ‘Working on what?’

  ‘Working on getting you out, getting you away from this place and that man.’

  ‘You mean Sigurd Sigmundson.’

  ‘It isn’t right. I had a think about that as we left here the other day. You being a slave and me being free.’

  ‘I can rescue myself. Plans are in hand. I didn’t save you just to have you toss your life away.’ She hated the way her stomach knotted, but Malcolm was courting disaster by being here. And she had no idea how Sigurd would react. She wasn’t ready to end this affair she and Sigurd had started. Malcolm would not understand how alive she felt, how life had begun to be worth living again. ‘You have taken a terrible risk for nothing. You are needed at home. Fa needs to stop sending money to Kells to pray for souls which are not in danger.’

  ‘That’s the trouble with you, my girl, never letting anyone help you. Letting things eat you up from the inside like Fa says.’ He shrugged.

  ‘When I need your advice I shall ask for it.’ Liddy tapped her foot on the ground. She didn’t bother mentioning the missing gold and Sigurd’s promise to free her if she found it. The last thing she needed was Malcolm causing more problems and getting himself in trouble again. He would not know anything about it or the woman, Shona, who had disappeared. ‘Let me be.’

  ‘Indeed, but some day you will see beyond the shape of his lips. He will discard you or sell you on to someone else when he marries.’

  ‘Sigurd is going to marry?’

  Malcolm rolled his eyes. ‘Don’t you pay attention to the gossip? Of course he is. He needs a wealthy bride, not some Hibernian slave who used to be a king’s daughter but no longer has any gold. It is what their kind do—marry wealthy women with land and gold.’

  Liddy pressed her lips together. ‘You mustn’t believe everything you hear.’

  Malcolm’s eyes narrowed. ‘You’ve changed, Liddy. You look less pinched. You have stopped covering your head! Are you Sigurd’s mistress in truth? If you knew what the priests have been saying about you!’

  ‘Does it matter? Fa has the land. And they would have said such things if I had been a hostage or a slave.’ She glanced over her shoulder towards where light streamed through. Sounds of laughter filtered out on the night air. ‘It may sound strange to you, but I enjoy having the freedom to talk loudly or wear my hair differently or even paddle in the loch with my bare feet without priests crying shame.’

  ‘I’m trying to help you to escape. You are supposed to be miserable.’ He ran his hand through his hair. ‘I was a fool to let you do this. I should have demanded that I take your place.’

  Liddy rolled her eyes. As if Sigurd would have paid as much for him... Malcolm always did have an exaggerated sense of his self-worth. ‘You think he would have paid the same price for you? Somehow I don’t think you are the right sex to hold his interest.’

  Malcolm gulped twice. ‘It still isn’t right. Some day you will see that. You should escape when you have the chance.’

  ‘I’m not one for breaking my solemn word.’ Liddy put her face close to Malcolm’s. ‘Fa would send me back. He was right. He does have a duty to the people who live on our lands.’

  Malcolm hung his head. ‘Fa is one of the details I’m still trying to work out. You need to have a bit of faith. Know you have friends. You aren’t alone. I know what it is like to be held prisoner, Liddy. I should have protected you. I failed. Maybe Brandon was right and your mark is cursed.’

  ‘I make my own luck.’ Liddy pressed her hands together and tried to control her anger. Shouting at Malcolm was not going to do any good. ‘I have every faith that you and Fa will get a decent harvest. Once that is in, then we can discuss more. Keep Fa from sending more gold to Kells. The estate can’t afford it.’

  ‘I think you are being harsh on Fa. He seems to know what he is on about.’

  ‘He is the one who sold me.’

  ‘You are angry about that.’ Malcolm nodded. ‘I understand. I really do. But what choice did Fa have? You should have stayed at home.’

  Liddy clenched her fists and struggled to keep her temper. Little over a sennight and Malcolm had already started to change history to suit his own purpose. ‘Had I not come for you, you would have been the one to be sold! You were the one who took the cabbages to the fort in the first place.’

  ‘There were reasons for that.’

  ‘Truly?’ Liddy tapped her foot against the dirt. ‘I am waiting. It was supposed to be easy silver for the taking. The answer to all our problems. What happened—did you get drunk?’

  ‘I thought I saw...never mind about that.’ Malcolm ran his hand through his hair. ‘This is what I should have said—Aedan returned early. He knows about your enslavement. He sent gold to buy you, but your lord refused to take it.’

  ‘Aedan sent gold?’ Liddy stared at her brother in astonishment. ‘You should have told me that right away.’

  ‘Your Northman refused it. He said he wouldn’t sell you, not to someone like him.’

  ‘Did Aedan say where I would go if you were successful?’

  ‘He has arranged a place in a convent in Ireland. Where you were to go when Brandon died.’

  Liddy gritted her teeth. Aedan had returned and was still as arrogant as ever. There was no way she would go to that convent. She was not going to do Brandon’s bidding and go over any water. But Aedan’s return explained Malcolm’s sudden attack of remorse. After Aedan stopped several other men from bullying Malcolm three Christmases ago, Malcolm had been convinced the man was all powerful.

  The only thing which was surprising was that Aedan wasn’t there, challenging Sigurd. No kinswoman of his a slave ever again, was his proud boast. She had to wonder if her father had considered the consequences when he offered her up. ‘Do I look like I am despairing?’

  ‘It would be more seemly if you were.’ Malcolm reached out and put his hands on her shoulders. ‘They say you are the new lord’s mistress. Aedan discounts that. He said you are far too...too strong-willed to give in like that.’

  She could well imagine what Aedan had said about her looks or her temperament.

  ‘Too strong-willed or too cold? I know the lies Brandon spread about me.’

  ‘How do you know they are lies?’

  Liddy lifted her chin and glared back at her brother. ‘Because I know the truth.’

  ‘You know what Aedan is like. He worshipped Brandon. He never believed your story about how the twins died. Brandon’s boats don’t just capsize, even I know that. It is a big thing to ask, but you are his sister-in-law and your predicament reflects badly on him.’

  Liddy twisted away. How like Aedan. Any pity he felt for her would be down to slights to his honour rather than actual caring about her welfare. ‘I spoke the truth. The boat capsized. It was a tragic accident, nothing to do with my birthmark despite Brandon swearing differently in church. He endangered his immortal soul, not me.’

  ‘You remain bitter.’

  ‘You tell Aedan that if I need rescuing, I will ask for it. And when I do, I will not be going to a convent over the water.’ She put her hands on Malcolm’s shoulders and gave him a little shake. ‘Promise me you will tell him that. Tell him not to act unless he has my direct order. I will refuse to come.’

  Malcolm looked dubious. ‘He won’t like it.’

  ‘He can do a
s I say for a change. Tell him that Coll likes Sigurd and that dog is the best judge of character I have ever encountered.’

  ‘Liddy, do you have deep feelings for this Northman?’

  Liddy drew away. Her heart beat far too fast. What she shared with Sigurd was purely physical. It was not going to last. She’d suffered enough hurt for a lifetime. They were friends after a fashion...that was all. ‘What? Absolutely not.’

  A shuffling noise echoed about the courtyard. Liddy froze. A Northman stumbled from the great hall with an arm about a giggling serving girl. She dragged Malcolm further into the shadows. The couple stopped for a passionate kiss just in front of them.

  Sweat trickled down her back. Thankfully the couple went past and Liddy was able to breathe again. What was between Sigurd and her had nothing to do with finer feelings and everything to do with her first proper experience of passion properly for the first time.

  ‘Disgraceful, that,’ Malcolm commented.

  ‘I didn’t see him forcing her.’

  ‘That woman is a Gael. She should have more pride. She should be resisting him. She should prefer death.’

  ‘Sometimes it is not that simple.’

  ‘Says the woman who chooses to be a slave!’

  Liddy pointed towards the darkened gate. ‘You go home to Fa. You plough that field and tend to the corn and barley. You stay out of whatever is happening here, whatever Aedan has planned. I’m no longer your concern or Aedan’s.’

  ‘That would be spitting in the wind. He takes it as a personal insult that you are here. He has sworn before the priest that he will see you in Ireland or he will see you dead.’

  Liddy went rigid.

  ‘Aedan is thinking of himself and his reputation rather than about me.’ Liddy lay a hand on Malcolm’s arm. ‘You know me. Can you see me in a convent, even if I wasn’t afraid of travelling on the sea?’

  ‘Not unless you were running it and even then...no, you are right, I can’t see you in a convent. Unlike our mother, you are not always at your prayer beads.’

  ‘I shall take that as a compliment.’ Liddy tightened her grip. ‘Allow me to do it my way without unasked-for interference. I saved your worthless hide, remember?’

  ‘Eilidith!’

  ‘Your master calls,’ Malcolm said.

  ‘I only left to get more ale.’ She held up the jug. ‘I did have a purpose in leaving the feast.’

  ‘One day this land will be free of the Northmen who boss us about. All of them.’

  ‘Or they may become part of this land,’ Liddy retorted.

  But Malcolm didn’t answer. He had slipped away into the shadows.

  Liddy hurried back into the hall after getting some more ale, hoping that Malcolm had done as he promised and had left. What was the point of her sacrifice, if he was going to throw his life away? And Aedan would have to wait. She was not going back to being the woman who believed she was cursed.

  Sigurd gave her a pointed look and beckoned her over. ‘You were gone longer than I expected.’

  ‘It wasn’t immediately obvious where the open ale cask was,’ she explained with her heart knocking so hard against her chest she thought he must have heard it. ‘And then the cook had a few questions. You know how it goes.’

  Sigurd wiped a hand across his face. Liddy’s eyes were darting everywhere except on him. She was hiding something. He hated the pain it caused, knowing she lied to him. It was like his time with Beyla all over again.

  ‘You finished the wrestling match,’ she said.

  ‘I won,’ he corrected her.

  There was little point in telling her that he’d been worried about her. For the first time in for ever, he had looked for someone to share the moment. Caring made him vulnerable and if he was vulnerable he could not protect anyone.

  Halfway through the match, Sven, one of his hand-picked warriors, had made a laughing remark about Liddy. Sigurd had put the Dane on the floor in less than ten heartbeats. He had barely managed to keep from beating him within an inch of his life. And after that, Liddy lied to him. Did she think he wasn’t aware of what happened in his fort?

  Right now, he’d wager her brother was attempting to depart through the gate. Sigurd had left orders with Gorm to allow him through with a token bribe. But he was patient man. He’d wait and see if she chose to tell him the truth before the cock crowed.

  ‘Very well, you won the match.’

  ‘I won because the day I lose is the day I begin to lose their respect.’

  ‘That is good to know.’ Her voice sounded strained.

  Sigurd draped an arm about her and pulled her close. She relaxed against him, but then she stiffened.

  ‘Is that a noise? Do you think there is trouble outside?’

  ‘Next time,’ he said, giving in to his impatience, ‘ask your brother in. Earlier he didn’t stay long enough in the hall for me to summon you. I presumed he would make contact.’

  Her mouth dropped opened. ‘How...how did you know?’

  ‘A wise ruler knows what is happening in his hall and on his lands. Your brother-in-law has returned. Did Malcolm bring you that news? He threw a pouch of gold at my feet. However, you are not for sale, certainly not to a man who believes you cursed.’

  ‘You will let Malcolm go.’ She grabbed his arm and her eyes held an element of fear. Something inside him twisted. ‘Let him return to my family. Please.’

  ‘Does he mean me any harm?’

  She quickly shook her head. ‘He worries about me. I’ve reassured him. But he must be allowed to go back and tell my family that. Will your warriors stop him at the gate?’

  ‘Gorm is on guard duty. He is under orders to let him through with a token bribe.’

  Her lips turned up and a tiny laugh escaped. ‘Here Malcolm was bragging how easy it was. Serves him right.’

  Sigurd inclined his head. ‘Next time ask him in. He might accept the invitation to dine from you.’

  She tucked her head into her neck. ‘I was going to tell you.’

  One short visit from her brother and she’d become bothered about her mark again. She was keeping something back. Something to do with the brother-in-law, he had no doubt. It was the reason why Malcolm had made a show of departing and had doubled back. He had a private message to deliver. He caught a wisp of her hair between his fingers. He refused to allow anyone else to dictate her future.

  He wanted her to stay with him of her own free will, but until he was certain of it, certain that no one in her family would force her to do things against her will, then he would keep her.

  ‘I know you were.’

  * * *

  Liddy stood in the centre of their chamber, dressed only in her shift. The light from the torches threw strange shadows on the tapestries which now lined the walls. Sigurd had gone to give his night-time orders, with Coll tagging along. It was a routine they had worked out to give her time to get into bed without having to make a scene every time. Only tonight was different.

  She chewed the back of her knuckle, watching the shifting shadows. Everything had changed with the news Aedan had returned. She could see that she was still behaving as though Brandon was around, allowing him to dictate her every move. She should have confessed to Sigurd instantly about Malcolm and now it appeared that she didn’t trust Sigurd.

  She had to hope Malcolm would deliver her message to Aedan and Aedan would heed the words.

  She touched her mark. It was a butterfly, not a curse. She had changed and she was not going back to the woman she’d been before. Letting Brandon influence her life stopped now. All she had to do was to keep the light on.

  ‘You are not in bed.’ Sigurd stepped into the room with Coll at his heels. Coll swiftly settled in front of the door, guarding.

  ‘You have a talent for stating th
e obvious.’

  ‘What brought this on? Are you worried about your brother? Gorm reports he made it out of the fort and is now riding towards home.’ Sigurd put the gold necklace down on a chest. ‘Gorm has seen fit to give you this necklace.’

  ‘Malcolm will be fine. He always is.’

  Sigurd’s face creased with concern. ‘Then what is it?’

  ‘I’m tired of the darkness. I want to be able to see your face.’ Liddy held out her hands. ‘I want you to see my face when you pleasure me.’

  He crossed over to her and gathered her hands within his. His brow knitted with concern. ‘Why are you doing this?’

  Liddy bit her lip. She had thought Sigurd would be overjoyed, but he seemed saddened and perplexed.

  ‘Because I thought you wanted to see me,’ she said finally. ‘Because it is time I stopped living in the past.’

  ‘You look fiercely determined.’ He stroked her face. ‘I know every inch of you by touch. It is enough. You don’t have to do it to please me.’

  She pulled away from him. ‘I want to do this. I want to see you. I am tired of hiding in the shadows, tired of hiding. Brandon called me ugly and you are not him.’

  He laughed softly. ‘Shadows or sunshine, as long as you are in my arms and as long as you are not doing it to please me.’

  ‘This is about me living in the here and now. I can only control today. I refuse to have the past define me.’

  ‘You think too much.’ His mouth descended, taking her breath away.

  She held him off with her hand. ‘Then you approve?’

  ‘You couldn’t disappoint me,’ he murmured as he placed playful kisses on her lips. ‘I know you by touch. You are supremely desirable.’

  She tore her mouth away. ‘I’m being serious.’

  His nimble fingers loosened her shift and pushed it from her shoulders. ‘You are being delightful and now that I know the reason for the light, I’m happy to obey.’