Saved by the Viking Warrior Page 14

  ‘Cwen...’ he said, standing completely still.

  ‘I believe your body, not your mouth.’

  ‘I can’t make you any promises. I...I have seen women turn away from me before. I don’t want to hurt you, Cwen, but if you only mean to tease, tell me now and neither of us will get hurt.’

  ‘Who hurt you, Thrand? Who made you doubt all women?’

  ‘Her name means nothing.’

  ‘It means something to you.’

  ‘Ingrid,’ he admitted. ‘She made me all sorts of promises when I was young. That summer before my world changed. I had slipped out to meet her that day my parents were killed.’

  ‘Go on. Tell me the whole story. I want to know.’ Cwenneth hated how her mouth went dry.

  ‘There is little to tell. It was a young man’s lust. I refused to listen to my father’s commands or my mother’s entreaties. I wanted to marry her. I thought we had something special. I went to where we were supposed to meet, intending to ask her, but was met by Hagal’s friends. They beat me and left me for dead. But not before Ingrid had told me the truth. Rather than thinking I was the love of her life, I was a monster in the making. Ingrid had used me to get back at Hagal because she knew he feared my prowess at fighting. He had seen it as an opportunity to ruin my family.’

  ‘Did you love her?’

  ‘I thought I did.’

  ‘What happened to her?’

  ‘I found her hanging in the barn where we were supposed to meet. The day after my parents’ funeral. There have been other women, but...always war called to me. I needed to fight.’

  Cwenneth struggled to hang on to her temper. Suddenly she knew what Thrand was doing and why. ‘I’d walk away from you now, but that is what you want me to do. And I am in no mood to oblige you.’ She put her hand on his chest and grasped his shirt. ‘I’m staying. I want to explore this thing between you and me if you are willing. Not a wild windswept passion, up against a tree, but something where we both take our time and enjoy it. I’m a widow, not some blushing maid. Pretending this attraction between us isn’t there won’t make it go away.’

  ‘I have no room in my life for anything but my work.’

  She closed her eyes and knew what he was saying—purely the physical, no pretence towards finer emotions. She needed to feel his hands and mouth on her. She wanted to feel alive in the way that his kisses made her feel. She couldn’t remember feeling this alive ever.

  ‘There are no promises in life,’ she whispered, putting her fingers over his lips and gathering her courage. Doubts were for the woman she used to be. ‘If anything, the last few days have taught me that. And I have not seen a monster. I have seen a very brave man who risked his life to save others, including me.’

  ‘You talk too much.’ His mouth descended and drank from hers, long and hard, sending pulses skittering through her body. And she knew that her passion was definitely not spent.

  She tore her lips from his. ‘This time, we should be more comfortable.’

  He ran his hand down her back, sending a wave of fire coursing through her. ‘A woman with authority. I like that.’

  ‘That is good. I have discovered that I like being independent. It means I can do this without having to wait.’

  She captured his face between her hands. In the afternoon sunlight his eyes had become deep pools of blue.

  ‘Why did you think you had to wait?’

  ‘My husband...’ She shook her head. ‘You bring your ghosts, Thrand, and I bring mine.’

  ‘Hush. A woman who participates makes it more interesting than a woman who lies there, hoping it will be all be over.’

  Slowly, she brought his face down to hers, taking her time and tracing the outline of his lips with her tongue. ‘Good to know.’

  ‘You smell of grass and sunshine,’ he murmured against her hair.

  ‘Here I thought I might smell of horse.’

  ‘Always the practical one.’ He lifted her chin. ‘We can take a bath together...later. There is a pond. I left Myrkr tethered there...’

  She raised his hand to her lips. ‘Later. He can enjoy the grass.’

  He ran his hand down her back, stopping to cup her bottom. ‘You appear to be overdressed. I have longed to see what you look like unclothed, but...’

  ‘My choice?’

  ‘Precisely. You do have a choice, Cwen. I want you to enjoy this.’

  She stared at him. No one had ever seen her naked. Not even Aefirth. They had been very conventional in their lovemaking and she had always waited for him in her bed. She had never shed her clothes in front of any man, let alone shedding them in the sunlight, but Thrand was very different from Aefirth.

  Cwenneth assessed Thrand under her lashes. He was asking, and she knew she did want him to see her naked. She wanted this relationship to be different. She wanted to be the new Cwen, rather than the old restricted Cwenneth. ‘Undress me.’

  ‘My pleasure.’ He slowly undid the laces of her gown, loosening it, then raising it above her head. Then he took off her under-garments.

  She stood in the mouth of the cave, naked with the afternoon sunlight warming her shoulders and back. She crossed her arms over her breasts and hid her puckering nipples.

  ‘You should not be shy.’ He ran his hands lightly along her arms. ‘Far better than my imagination.’

  ‘Do you mean that?’

  ‘I lied.’ A smile split his face. ‘Much, much better than my imagination.’

  For such a large man, his touch was incredibly gentle. He made her feel cherished. Her insides twisted. Cherished as if he actually cared about her.

  ‘Now you,’ she said, pushing away the thought. Finer feelings were unwelcome. Purely physical was what she had agreed to.

  She undid his shirt and lifted it above his head, exposing his golden flesh. The linen bandage stood out from his smooth skin.

  She reached out and touched his shoulder, mimicking his move, exploring the contours of his skin. With Aefirth, she had always been the passive one, waiting for him to be the first as she thought a proper wife should. But with Thrand those considerations counted for nothing. There were no rules or customs. She was free to do as she chose.

  She wanted to touch him and be an equal participant. She wanted to explore every muscle and sinew of his body. She wanted to feel him moving inside her again.

  She let her hand explore the line of hair which ran down to his groin.

  He groaned in the back of his throat and pulled her to him. ‘Slow this time. If you go further, it will be the same as last time and I want to give you pleasure.’

  ‘I liked it fast and furious.’

  ‘Then you will like it even slower.’

  Their bodies collided, skin touching skin, and he drank deeply from her mouth as his hands roamed freely over her back. Gently, he lowered her to the cloaks he’d quickly arranged on the ground. For a brief heartbeat he loomed over her, but she reached up with a hand and pulled him down beside her.

  She tangled her fingers in his shoulder-length hair, pulling his face to hers, reclaiming his lips and probing the depths of his mouth with her tongue.

  He moved his mouth down the column of her throat, nibbling and tasting, sending fresh licks of fire coursing throughout her body. She tried to tell her heart that he was vastly experienced and knew how to play a woman’s body the way a bard would pluck a tune from a lute. But her heart refused to believe it. There was something more, something which had been missing from her couplings with Aefirth.

  His fingers captured one of her breasts and rolled the nipple between his thumb and forefinger. A gasp burst from her mouth.

  ‘You like?’ he rasped in her ear as he played with her nipples, pulling and stretching them.

  She tugged at his shoulders, needing him inside h
er again. ‘Please...Thrand.’

  ‘I want to make it good for you. Please allow me to do this. I want to show you how good slow can be.’

  She gave a nod. His mouth went lower, following the trail his fingers had blazed. He captured first one nipple and then the other, making swirling patterns with his tongue and licking them into hard pointed peaks while his fingers played between her folds, sliding in and out of her, making her warm, wet and needy.

  Her body bucked upwards as wave after wave of pleasure rolled through her until she thought she could stand no more, but also knowing she had to have more. She wanted the ultimate release.

  She tugged once again at his shoulders, needing to feel him inside her. This time he relented and settled himself between her legs, driving forward. She opened her thighs and welcomed him in, feeling her body expand to take the length of him.

  They lay there for a timeless moment, joined, and then she began to move her hips, giving into the ageless rhythm.

  He responded and they were swept together on the crest of a wave.

  * * *

  Much later, Thrand came back to earth and regarded the woman now sleeping in his arms. She had given herself to him unstintingly. Twice. Once fast and furious up against the side of the cave and the other slow, an exploration of their bodies and how they could move in time with each other. Even now, his body hardened at the mere thought of having her again. He wanted to experience all her possibilities. Amazing. He frowned, unable to remember if he had ever felt this way before with a woman whom he barely knew.

  He ran his hand over her short hair. For the first time in a long time, he felt at peace, as if the hungry wolf inside him had become tame and no longer looked for revenge. He remembered how his mother used to caution his father against revenge and where it would lead. She used to say that there were other ways of punishing a man. He’d never been able to think of one, but now he wondered. Could there be?

  ‘What have you done to me, Cwen?’ he whispered softly. ‘I want to believe in a future which holds only peace. I have stopped only having hate in my heart. Do you know how impossible that is for me? My family needs to be honoured. Fighting is my life. I lose my edge and I lose everything.’

  The soft sound of her sleeping was the only reply.

  He made a face. It was dangerous to hope or to think beyond the next day. Battle and war kept him alive. He’d seen good men die because they lost their concentration. And Cwen wanted to return to her former life. She didn’t want his sort of life.

  When his revenge was complete and his time of battle done, then he could think about acquiring a family. Until then he travelled light. What was the point in complications and roots when the ghosts of his father and mother still begged him to do the right thing? And the right thing had to be killing Hagal. A life for a life.

  He hated how his insides twisted. He wanted to be worthy of her and protect her for ever, but he knew what he was like and what lurked inside him. How everyone he’d ever loved had ended up dead because of his actions. He envied Sven’s simple solution of starting again. Cwen would need another reason than just him.

  Cwen said that she saw good in him, but there was also the warrior who killed and the boy who had failed his parents. She needed someone better than he was or could ever be.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered. He gently removed her head from the crook of his shoulder and slid out.

  * * *

  Cwenneth woke to an empty cave and a cloak covering her nakedness.

  ‘Thrand?’ she called out. ‘Is there a problem?’

  ‘Getting things ready to leave,’ came the answer from outside. ‘We need to go, Cwen. Sooner rather than later. Time is slipping from our fingers. There is a full moon tonight. We can start once it rises.’

  She gulped hard. They were going. He had slaked his pleasure and now he was ready to go. What had passed between them was in the past. Had she expected anything different? He was a Norse warrior.

  ‘I thought we were staying the night. Or was that just pillow talk?’

  ‘Instinct.’ His bulk appeared in the mouth of the cave, but the shadows made it impossible to see his face. ‘If I ignore it, we are both dead. It served us well in the hut.’

  She wished he would come over and touch her. Was he disappointed in what had passed between them?

  A tiny knot started in the pit of her stomach. She had made a fatal mistake and had started caring about a Norse warrior, the sworn enemy of her family. In his arms, she had dared to dream that they might make a more lasting alliance. Funny how the dreams went when she woke.

  ‘Do you regret what happened?’ she asked before her courage utterly failed her. ‘Be honest with me, rather than feeding me some lie about following your instinct.’

  His eyes widened. ‘Regret? How could I regret something like that? You were magnificent. Better than that—a healing balm.’

  Her breath came a little easier. She had to follow her instinct and not lose her temper. Thrand was panicking about something.

  ‘You left me to wake up on my own.’

  ‘I never sleep very much. I went out to watch the stars.’ He shrugged. ‘I wanted to let you sleep. You needed it. But we have to go. We can cover miles before the sun comes up.’

  ‘The countryside remains still. It is at least another day’s journey to the Tyne and your friend’s child. We can spend more time together...more time for...’ She made a little gesture with her hand.

  ‘I’ve been thinking. It might be best if we forget this.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘As pleasant as it was, it should never have happened. You and I. I can’t give you what you want.’

  Cwen put her hand on her hip. ‘How dare you presume to know what I want!’

  His voice became cold. ‘I’ve had enough women.’

  Cwenneth flinched, but then she clenched her fists. He wanted her to turn away. ‘Stars.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘You told me to watch the stars if I couldn’t sleep and I have spent most nights watching the stars, willing the sleep to come.’

  ‘What does that have to do with anything?’

  ‘Being in your arms beats watching the stars. I actually slept. It is a start, Thrand. I felt alive, rather than one of the walking dead and I’ve been one of them for so long.’

  She wished his face wasn’t in shadow. She wished he’d walk over and take her in his arms. Anything to stop the terrible pounding of her heart. A faint breeze rippled over her skin.

  ‘There is a chance you will survive. A very good chance.’

  ‘Hagal wants me dead. There is no getting around that. He knows I live and made his vow to avenge his cousin’s death through mine. I fear closing my eyes. Why watch stars when I can find peace in your arms? I’m asking for no more than that.’

  ‘I’m tired of watching stars as well.’ His arm went around her. ‘And when we are done, no regrets.’

  ‘No regrets. This is about the here and now.’ She put her hand on his cheek. Her insides felt hollow. Her heart had been buried with Aefirth and Richard, hadn’t it? What she felt for Thrand was desire, not love, not something lasting and true. When they parted, she would remember the time with fondness, but would live the sort of life she was born to. She would return to being a Northumbrian lady.

  She hated that her old life no longer held any attraction.

  Chapter Ten

  The farmstead stood unobtrusively near the river Tyne. It was not much to look at, but Cwenneth could tell with a brief glance that it was prosperous. The walls were well maintained and the sheep grazing in the meadow looked fat.

  ‘This is where the child is,’ she said to break the uncomfortable silence which had grown up between them over the past few miles.

  ‘So I am given to understand,�
�� Thrand replied, pulling Myrkr to a halt.

  Without waiting, Cwenneth slid off. They had stopped briefly to sleep beside a stream. Her dreams had featured death and destruction. Only when she woke and had Thrand’s arms about her did she relax. It had felt right to wake up in Thrand’s arms. But she also knew that the farm marked a turning point. Every mile after this took her closer to her destiny and near-certain death. Was it wrong of her to wish for a reprieve? And to hope that Hagal could self-destruct without her being involved? Did she have to appear in person?

  ‘What is the woman’s name?’ she asked, trying to stop thinking about the future and her own cowardice.

  ‘Maeri,’ Thrand said slowly. ‘Sven was wild about her. He wanted to marry her once he found out about the child.’

  ‘What are you going to do?’

  ‘Make sure the child is well looked after. I will make sure Maeri knows that he should be brought up as a proper Norseman and that several men have volunteered to foster him when the time comes. Knui would have formally welcomed him into Sven’s family, but I will have to perform the ceremony instead.’

  ‘The child is a boy?’ Cwenneth asked.

  ‘The message gave no clue to the sex. It has been passed from Norseman to Norseman.’

  Thrand got off the horse and started to walk beside her. Cwenneth noticed how he evenly matched her stride. There was a steady companionship between them now. Her heart clenched. What was between them was temporary. Temporary allies, friends and now lovers.

  Believing otherwise was to slide back into the same fool’s paradise she’d inhabited when she thought marrying Hagal the Red would bring peace. Even if he wanted to marry her, where would they go?

  ‘How old is the child?’ she asked, trying to keep from examining her feelings.

  ‘A year or so, I believe.’ Thrand looked straight ahead, watching the curl of smoke from the farmhouse rise in the crystal-blue sky. ‘We have been in the south, keeping peace, not the north. It took a while for the message to reach Sven.’